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  • Writer's pictureHannah Donkersloot

I am. And I am here for that.

“Who am I and Why am I here?” This is the big question. It is the KEY question, the defining of one’s self, and of one’s purpose. Oh how many answers I could give, but none would qualify that which I am.

When I ask the cells of my being, they in turn must ask the elements within, and so it is here I begin, with the breath. Inhaling a cool night inward, my chest expands creating the spaciousness around my heart for the waves of Prana to rise and fall, they are the tides of my becoming.

To the life force I breathe, I ask this essential question, knowing each breath I take is a gift. The breath soothes me as I ponder the feeling, a sensation of pure aliveness coursing through me, humming a vibration in tune with the harmonies of life. And the answer comes, “I am the space in which you move and I am that which moves you. I am the nothingness from which everything becomes. I am openness and emptiness, yet always full and expanding. As you breath so shall you receive the gifts of a supported life.”

The winds within don’t dance alone. I’ve got rivers and seas, flowing through internal sanctuaries, needing constant replenishing from the pure waters of the world. And so I ask this translucent liquid we call water, as I drink from the well of life, becoming that which I intake. A sweet answer soothes me from the taste of my saliva, “I am your sweet juice and nectar, your potion and your wine. I am the river pulsing through you. I connect you and the divine. I am poetry in motion, I’m the raindrop and I’m the ocean. I’m transformation and manifestation. I am the blood of all creation.”

The juices from my mouth melt the cake from which I feed, from the fruits of life it was made, sprouted from a tiny seed. I eat the cake and become one with the tree. This tree, how did she come to be? She grew both from the light above, and into a heartened dark below. She ate the light of heaven, in the warmth of the sun her branches did grow. Yet, it was the earth below that sustained her, allowing her to be. It was the solid loving earth that continuously held the tree. And to the earth, I asked this question from the delicious food she gave to me.

“I am where you come from and where you shall return. I am the bed from which you rise, and the shelter to which you run. I give my life and all my love, I hold you close to the sun. I offer you all of my creations, you are one of them you know, I am the greatest of all Mother’s, the source from which things grow. I’m a lover and a dancer, and an artist to no end. I am the greatest of creators. I’m the earth and I’m you’re friend.”

And with her words I wept, as I now am weeping, for the love of the earth and the light of the sun. Feeling their power shine through me, knowing that we are one. And as my heart swelled with emotion, I felt the power of the ocean. The breath came in time to cool me, from the heat of a desire pulsing through me….Love. That is why I’m here. I am. And I am here to embrace all that I am, and all that is, because I am it and it fuels me. It fills me. It fulfills me.

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